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What to Know About Divorcing a Narcissist

Being Sure to Protect Yourself

A relationship with a narcissist may seem too good to be true at first glance, but as time goes on things may begin to crumble around you. Deciding to end a marriage is already a difficult enough decision, but trying to get a divorce from a narcissist may end up being even more difficult.

When looking to end your relationship with a narcissist, it’s important to understand as many facets of this divorce as possible, including the signs of narcissism, tactics they may use against you, and what you can do to defend yourself in the divorce.

Signs of Narcissism

Early on in a relationship, it might be difficult to point out the faults in a person because of the infatuation you have for them; however, as time passes, those negative qualities may become more apparent. People can display several signs of narcissism, many of which are centered around their ego, and these signs can take various forms. The signs of narcissism to watch out for include the following:

  • Overly inflated sense of self-importance.

  • Grandiose sense of entitlement.

  • Consistent violation of boundaries, whether yours or anyone else’s.

  • Consistently takes control of a conversation and drags it back to themself.

  • Inability to display empathy (and if it seems as if they care, they are feigning that care).

  • Inability to accept blame for their own actions or consequences of those actions.

  • Embellishes stories to make themselves sound better than they actually are.

  • Manipulative of others for their own self-interests.

  • Concerned with personal appearance.

These signs, among others, can indicate that your spouse might be a narcissist. You may feel isolated because of their desire for control and keeping themselves as the center of their universe. You should not have to feel this way, and you can take steps to separate yourself from this type of person.

Tactics Used by Narcissists in Divorce

Unfortunately, getting a divorce from a narcissist is almost harder than it is to stay married to one. If presented with a divorce, a narcissist may begin to fly off the handle and engage in tactics used to make your life difficult. The following tactics may be used by narcissists, and you should be aware of these when getting a divorce:

  • A narcissist will shift the blame for everything to you, as they cannot take responsibility for their own actions.

  • Narcissists may take steps to prevent you from gaining access to assets you have the right to through methods such as hiding assets or changing passwords.

  • A narcissist may bombard you with communication that may be harassment or threatening (or both).

  • Narcissists do not care about the cost to themselves as long as you hurt, so they may try to drag out the process as long as possible by refusing to negotiate any terms of a settlement or by raising concerns with every possible issue.

  • Narcissists are famous for gaslighting. You may be the subject of embellishments and lies as they project their actions onto you, making you the villain in court.

These attacks can be overwhelming and cause great frustration; unfortunately, some people can fall victim to these attacks and end up costing themselves a stake in the settlement. How can you protect yourself from a narcissist?

How to Defend Yourself Against a Narcissist

Fortunately, you have options to protect yourself against these heinous attacks. It’s important to proceed with caution, which is why you should be sure to consult with your divorce attorney before taking action. Here are things to consider as you plan a means of protecting yourself:

  • Set clear boundaries and stick to them.

  • Don’t engage with your spouse and try to defend yourself. Stick to the truth.

  • Document everything you possibly can in the event that your spouse lies in court or tries to hide assets.

  • Stay calm. It can be difficult, but remember that your new chapter begins when the divorce ends.

Your divorce attorney can also help you with any legal options that you have, such as restraining orders or other similar actions.

Are You Ready to Begin?

Getting a divorce from a narcissist can be difficult, but the process begins with a single step. If you have questions or are concerned about the process, consult with a divorce attorney who can help you determine the best (and safest) course of action.

At Drexler Law, we know that getting a divorce from a narcissist can be difficult, but we are committed to protecting you and helping you move forward. To schedule a consultation, call us at (719) 259-0050 or visit us online.