Defending Yourself Against a Narcissist

Fighting Back Against Dirty Tricks

Trying to get a divorce from a narcissist may be even more difficult than staying married to one. It’s very common for a narcissist to engage in dirty tactics to try and make your life a living nightmare throughout the divorce. However, there are steps you can take to protect yourself throughout the process.

Expect the Unexpected

While this might sound a bit cliche, you never know what a narcissist might try during a divorce. They may keep things simple and raise arguments every chance they can, or they might take a dirtier route and try to smear your name through the mud with outlandish lies. It’s important to walk into a divorce with the expectation that something may go unplanned, and that mindset can help you deal with those moments.

Set Clear Boundaries

One of a narcissist’s favorite tactics is to steamroll others to get what they want, and often they may not let up until they achieve their goal. Setting and maintaining clear boundaries of what you will and will not do can help you in the event your spouse decides to take this route.

You do not have to respond to texts or phone calls right away, no matter how much they bombard you with communication. Refer to court orders if things begin to get really out of hand.

Don’t Engage in Self-Defense

This might sound a bit counterintuitive, but narcissists love to go on the attack whenever presented with the opportunity. By trying to defend yourself against their random baseless attacks on you, you provide them further opportunities to pull you down. Rather than engage them, stick to the facts of the case and avoid meaningless arguments about other items.

Document Everything

This is important: your ex might lie about their financial records or other items pertaining to the divorce. It’s important that you try and obtain forms of documentation to prove that they are lying about something, as not only does it illuminate the truth but it could prove beneficial for the final divorce agreement.

Consult With Your Attorney

Perhaps one of the most key pieces of advice is to keep your divorce attorney on hand in case something goes awry. Your attorney can help you strategize a plan to protect yourself against the attacks of your narcissistic spouse and can navigate you throughout each step of the legal process.

At Drexler Law, we know that dealing with a narcissist can be incredibly challenging and leave you feeling exhausted. Know that we are here to help you protect yourself against their attacks as you plan your next chapter.