Narcissists and Divorce
Narcissism is defined as excessive admiration of interest in oneself and one’s physical appearance, as well as extreme self-centeredness and selfishness to point of frequently ignoring the needs of those around them. Not only is narcissism a trait, but it is also a personality disorder (Narcissistic Personality Disorder [NPD]).
- Common signs of narcissism include:
- Need for admiration and constant feeding of their egos
- Manipulative behavior
- Lack of empathy
When a narcissist’s self-worth is under threat, they may experience “narcissistic injury” that turns into “narcissistic rage,” which can trigger aggression, distress, and even abuse. Therefore, so when it comes to narcissists and divorce, such a significant life change can deal a major blow to your spouse’s self-esteem, so prepare for the worst.
Watch Out For These Sneaky Divorce Tactics
When getting a divorce from a narcissist, it’s important to be aware that the battle will extend beyond the courtroom. It’s common for narcissists to engage in dirty tactics throughout the process out of spite for what you are doing to them. Here are a few sneaky divorce tactics they might use that you should be aware of.
Tactic Number 1: Playing The Blame Game
You can expect a narcissist to play the blame game throughout the entirety of your divorce. A narcissist is incapable of admitting fault in anything, especially something as serious as a divorce. Throughout the process, you may hear that you were responsible for the dissolution of your marriage when, in fact, your narcissistic spouse is unaware of their own culpability.
Tactic Number 2: Dragging Out the Battle
One of a narcissist’s primary goals in a divorce is to make your life as much of a nightmare as they possibly can. In order to do this, they may refuse to negotiate and cause a scene in order to lengthen the overall proceeding as long as they can. They don’t care how much money the divorce costs or how much time is wasted provided that you are suffering with them. Revenge is their goal.
Tactic Number 3: Hiding Assets
A narcissist believes that they are entitled to what they want out of the divorce; in order to get what they want, they may not be completely honest with disclosing their assets. They might try to hide assets from you so they can prevent you from getting them. If you suspect this might be the case, it’s important to talk to your attorney about your options.
Tactic Number 4: Gaslighting
The most obvious tactic used by narcissists throughout divorce is gaslighting. While blaming is certainly a component of this, it can also include blatant lies, projecting their own actions or words onto you, using what is important to you against you, and other tactics designed to make you feel like less of a human.
Counter Tactic: Seek the Help of A Knowledgeable Divorce Attorney
When your spouse is using the dirty tactics of a narcissist against you, know that you do not have to tolerate such behavior. Your divorce attorney can help you take steps to protect yourself and can guide you on what the next best move is. At Drexler Law, we know that divorce can be stressful, especially when dealing with a narcissist. Our commitment to you is that we will do whatever we can to protect you from the sneaky attacks of a narcissist.